The scary part about taking your sex-tech project to the mainstream is
that on the long, hard journey from quirky to safe, you risk wrecking
the very thing that made you special.
Then, when the Bowdlerized version doesn't do well, the backlash
affects everyone in the sex-tech space, not just the particular
application or product. "See?" say the analysts and the venture
capitalists and the advertisers. "That's why we don't back sex things."
Then when there's a new sex thing they cautiously express interest
about, the developers bend over backwards to show how nonthreatening
and comfortable it really is.
Ah, the cycle of romantic startups.
Two years ago, I gave "relationships-management software" Girlfriend X
a cautious thumbs-up. Now I'm bummed I can't do the same for its latest
incarnation, or for the beta version of its sister site, Boyfriend X.
The genius of the original Girlfriend X and its companion PDA app ("GFX
Wingman") was that it indulged in so-impolitic-it-must-be-true
irreverence. Marketed as a dating solution for men, it took all those
things that women naturally do in our heads and turned it into a
database-driven toolset for players -- or those who wanted to play at
playering.
For example, its Yield Generator module plotted how much money you
spent against how much sex you got, presenting you with a nice
cost-per-hookup graph. Other modules sent automated love notes to the
right woman at the right time, tracked anniversaries and other
milestones for ongoing arrangements, and suggested hundreds of
(terrible) pickup lines whose very awfulness could serve to break the
ice with new prospects.
After that column came out, Sex Drive readers inundated the developers
with e-mail -- at least half a dozen requests, says founder Rick Pierce
-- for a similar application for women.
Because yeah, we're good at keeping this stuff in our heads,
but parallel dating -- sleeping with more than one person on a regular
basis, without those people knowing any details other than, "I'm seeing
other people" -- can get complex to keep up with if you do it for more
than a month or two.
Unfortunately, Boyfriend X lacks the rueful humor of the early
Girlfriend X, managing to be bland and insulting at the same time. (The
first question in the Boyfriend X FAQ is "What if I'm not smart enough
to get this all working?") And Girlfriend X was neutered on its way
from stand-alone software to web-based portal.
Pierce says they wanted to get more serious and to make a sort of
"one-stop shop" for relationship management, blending a niche contact
manager with a content-driven site.
In other words, there's no Put Out Calculator for Boyfriend X
that compares how many bases you've let him touch to how much money
he's spent on you, then recommends what you could hold out for next.
The watered-down Girlfriend X is still about creating bad boys out of
nice guys, in their minds if not in their actions. But then Boyfriend X
warns women to stay away from bad boys and find nice guys.
It may be what the moneymen believe the masses want (without the
taint of associating with porn), but it also turns off the very people who might have used the racier version.
No wonder the sex-positive movement despairs of the mainstream.
Girlfriend X and Boyfriend X do have their redeeming qualities. It
is handy to have access to dozens of dating and networking sites from
one page, and it's great to be able to search all of the reviewed
profiles at once regardless of their site of origin.
Both services encourage members to rate people's online dating and
social networking profiles (he's short! she's fat! he's married! she's
psycho!) and to post positive testimonials for friends and dates. Both
provide detailed tracking mechanisms where you can store details about
each person and every interaction you've had.
The mashups Pierce plans in the coming months are definitely cool.
One compares a person's interests with a local events calendar and the
weather forecast, then generates a list of targeted date ideas. Another
sifts through the headlines to keep you apprised of current affairs
relating to your prospect's interests, so you always have something to
talk about.
If they manage to automate more of the data entry -- perhaps an
import function so you can bring profile information into your contact
manager with a single click -- then X will mark the spot indeed, and
the convenience will more than make up for the loss of personality.
I guess I'll have to track my own blow-job-to-oil-change ratio from now on.
See you in a fortnight,
Regina Lynn
Regina Lynn is the author of Sexier Sex: Lessons from the Brave New Sexual Frontier
.
